My Communication Style

I was so nervous to have people evaluate me. The people I chose were my sister and my husband. I do understand that this is very necessary for me to see how people see and understand me. Once I got over the initial shock and uncomfortably I just accepted it. Finally, when I went through the information, it wasn’t so bad. My husband is the person I am with the most. He sees me on a daily basis, through good and bad. However, my sister knew of me in my less popular days of my past and some days in my present, however she knows my character overall. I am her older sister by quite a few years so I want to lead by example for her.

            Based on the information, in the area of communication anxiety, both my sister and husband rated me low. I gave myself a higher rating but only to the next level which is mild. This tells me that others think I have less communication anxiety than I think of myself. This gives me confidence though.

            Finally, for listening, we all agreed that I am a people oriented person. I even knew this, so this was not surprising to me. I want others to be comfortable. The description is true of my character too. I definitely trust people more than I should. I leave myself open to get hurt, but I can promise you it only happens once.

        Both of these have taught me to incorporate them in my professional and personal life. I see that I use them, great things will come when it comes to communication. I need that help, honestly. Communication is so important in both areas of life.

            This week, I remembered that our appearance tells others a lot about ourselves. We know that but this week I learned really what they could be saying and why. I found it interesting and gave me lessons for the future and life. I will definitely be sharing this with others to include my children. 

Cultural Communication

Just like our families make us who we are, so does the culture. And because of culture, it affects the way we communicate. I have been told that I communicate with people differently. I have experienced many cultures in my lifetime. I have seen people who do not share the same culture and try to communicate with each other, it is very interesting and then I reflect on how I communicate with others and I do the same. My mother is Korean, and my family always know when I talk to her because my words are broken etc. My mother has lived in this country my whole life, so her understanding of the English language is good but I still communicate this way so that she understands. I look like and idot in retrospect, but I continue to do this. Even I when I lived in other countries, this was habit. I thought I was doing well and being offensive, but through my studies of people and communication I see it differently now.

        One of the things that I have learned this week is about culture myopia. I originally thought this was about being prejudice or discriminatory, however after further understanding I see that it is not really that, it is just someone who has lived a certain way or lifestyle and see someone who does not relate in the same way and don’t consider or accept their way suffers from cultural myopia. I shows that people live differently, it makes us a great melting pot. It is so hard when others don’t accept or find others relevant. It makes them narrow minded, and gives others the perception that they think their way is the only way.

Another thing that   learned this week was about the Platinum Rule. Yes, we should treat others the way we would like to be treated, however not everyone wants the same thing you do in life or period. So, in retrospect this theory cannot be applied to everyone. However, according to the Platinum rule, treating others how they want to be treated sounds better for the other person. Now, this skill requires a little more insight and investigation on the other person to know how to treat them. I see this applying more to people you know as oppose to strangers. For example, I know friends who want flowers, where I do not want flowers. So, to give them flowers knowing I don’t like them caters to their wants as opposed to mine. It did require me to get to know them but it will have great rewards in the end.

        Finally, the last thing I gained insight on this week was the information on the “Generational Characteristics” (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 92). I did not know that my generation has great insight to my interpersonal communication skills. I kinda of agree with what my generations says about me, however, I do not always do what the majority of people do. I see that the values for each generation seem to be right and very interesting to see people I know who fit into those generations and make some sense of them. In all honesty I like to see things like this, it always gives me more insight to myself, friends, family and others I know.

References:

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

Episode Analysis-Communication Understanding

For my latest assignment I had to watch a television show with the sound off.
Back in the day I loved Judge Judy. It just so happened to come on again on my day off, so I chose this. I don’t get to watch it anymore and haven’t seen it in years.

Based on what I have learned this week, through communication, without any sound. It was an interesting experience. I had to use what I knew about communication to watch it without sound. I had to rely heavily on my other senses. I could read a little bit of their lips but mostly what I got from the episode was body language, facial expressions and facial expressions from audience members. Their behaviors told me a lot of what was going on even though I could not hear anything. I did witness deception. An “attempt to convince others of something that is false” (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015, p. 99). There was a lot of gestures and body movements that was evidence. These things may not have been picked up if there were sound, but since I had no sound I had to rely on these types of movements and gestures to gain some kind of understanding. Previously, I understood facial expressions but never knew of “oculesics.” “Oculesics is the study of the use of eyes to communicate” (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015, p. 104).

          Because of the type of show it is, the relationship is parents of a young child, daughter. They are not together. Based on what I saw, and how they perceived to be communicating, they are upset with each other and felt the need to bring things to court because they could not verbally communicate civilly with each other.

          Based on their facial expressions, body movements, and gestures, I would say the feeling of the people involved to include Judge Judy was aggravated, irritated, lying, disgust, astonishment, and agreement and times

          After watching the episode with sound, I got more clarity. I watched it differently because I had sound. The emotions, gestures, and facial expressions were different to me watching this episode. Before I heard any sound I had already made a impression of the characters, and after the sound was introduced made my feelings stronger about them. The sound just heightened my opinions. Nonverbal communication gave me an insight, but verbal brought it all home and could have made things worse. The gestures and facial expressions made more sense to the words.

Watching it this way is like watching something for the second time and getting something every time. It could be things you missed when you watched it the first time. I think this is true for even things you have seen before. I have seen movies or shows once and then watch a rerun and see things differently a second time. My eyes are more wide open because I already know what’s going to happen. 

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Competent Communication

Competent Communication

          When I think of someone who exhibits competent communication, I think of my previous boss. I really did learn a lot from her. She taught me a few things about communicating as well. She opened my mind and gave me ideas about communicating with others. I had to learn that it is not a one-way street. I also learned that if I wanted to get someone to do something I had to understand them, listen to them and communicate things in a certain way to them. I learned that you cannot communicate the same way with every person. Not everyone receives information the same way and therefore communication is individual. I also learned that wording is huge when it comes to communication. How you ask someone things or tell them things is so important. With that being said, the words we use is so important. Something that I have learned through my course of studies, when writing papers, wording is key too. So, I feel as though, this little bit of information may be minor to others but is huge to me cause of how much it has been drilled in lately. I have been taught a lot from my previous boss and definitely will be using what I have learned from her when it comes to communication. It proved to be effective when I used it before. It makes lots of sense when you look at it. It has worked, and I have changed how I communicate. I know though that I have more to learn and use when it comes to communicating. I am actually excited about taking my new course in communication. 

Professional Hopes and Goals

Through the course of Perspective Diversity and Equity I have learned soooo much on the subject that I feel like I can love, appreciate and respect more cultures and support all of our equality.

One hope that I have as I continue my work with children and their families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I do not want to unintentionally insult them. I want to respect and validate them. I want to get to know them better. I find the differences better. In the past, while I liked the past, I would unintentionally make comments or try to correct things that I saw them doing that was different. Now I want to embrace that, encourage it, and validate the differences. Just because a family's culture is different from the dominant culture does not mean I can not support them/that. I want them to know that we all matter.

A goal that I have set for the early childhood field that is related to the issue of diversity, equity, and social justice is to validate all cultures. We matter. I want to spread to others what I have learned about Diversity through this class so that other colleagues who did not have the opportunity to take this course still have the opportunity to be educated and not unintentionally insult another person who is not like ourselves and finally and probably most important, identify our own social identities. We must first know who we are before we can tackle someone else, especially children and their families.

Finally, I want to thank all of my colleagues and fellow classmates who have helped me grow through this process. I have really learned a lot about diversity, equity, social justice, and myself. Your input and feedback was valuable. I know that I am not in this journey alone, so again I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Good luck to us all.! :)

Welcoming Families From Around the World

I am one of the managers at a child development center serving our military families. A new family has just arrived and is inquiring about putting their child into our program. However, they are from India. First I will give them a tour of our facility and tell them about what we do hear and what our goals and what our mission statement is.

I plan to be culturally responsive to them by using:

1.   I plan to first and foremost hear and listen to any concerns that they may have with their child in our program.
2.   I will be observant (but not judgmental) to their ways and behaviors.
3.  I will not judge and tell them what the dominant culture does as oppose to what I see them doing.
4. I will ask if there are any ways for us to incorporate their culture into our program to help with their child’s transition and for us to gain a better understanding of them. Our goal is to know them as a whole family better.
5. I will speak to them slowly and clearly, because I have a tendency to speak fast so many do not understand what I am saying.

By doing all these things I am hoping that our family feels welcomed. I want to take away the barriers as much as possible between the center/teachers and the family. I want the family at any time they have a problem, concerns, or even praise to come to any of staff or leadership. If the family wants to stop in and watch or participate, I want them to do so without any conflicts. I want them to feel as a integral part of their child’s learning and development. It is my goal that we do this as a team (the parents and program) when it comes to raising this/any child.

The Personal side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I would love to say that I have never experienced bias, prejudice or oppression, however I live in reality and in America. I am an Ethnic female living in predominant white male America; so I have experienced one to all the above actions. By now, as much as I have experienced these incidents it is almost like second nature and at times things that I shrug off. While that is terrible to think of I have learned that you have to choose your battles. And many times this is not one of them. These happen to much that I cannot say that these types of behaviors will ever stop.

An incident that hurt me most but I had to move on if I were to ever be better, was at work. I had a boss who turned to me for everything and appreciated that I was great at my job, however when it came to promotion and moving up, they over looked me and hired someone else for the job. Not only that but asked me to train that person, everything I knew. It did come up that the new person could not do the job as well as I did and never did I get the credit I deserve and when things went wrong, I was the one, they called to clean it up. I had to leave because I was never appreciated and felt like I was only kept at the bottom. This was done in a small town. I was not from that town and I was treated like that. The small town was in Idaho, mostly made up of farmers, etc. I am an ethnic minority not from Idaho and was only brought there because of my husband’s career. I was treated like a second-class citizen. It hurt and I could not continue on. So, in the end, I left. I loved my job, but I did not fit in so I left and moved on to better things.

        With this particular incident there was no equity. They was a clear action of favoritism. I cannot say that it is something that is new to me. I have seen it time and time again. It is not what you know that shines through but who you know that outweighs anything else. In comparison on standards, if I and the new lady stood side by side just on qualifications alone, she would not compare. All she had going for her is that she was from the small town and graduated from the school years previously. I on the other hand had college education, and experience in the job, but we saw who won. A true testament to inequality.

        I learned a lot from this experience. I loved my job and have had to take a break from teaching but it is still in my heart. I am not as hurt as I was in the beginning only because I don’t like to hold on to things because I know that the only person this hurts is me. I can probably guess 100% that my old boss sleeps well at night and is not thinking about me. In the end I don’t like to hold grudges I need to be free from things so that I can have blessings in my life.

        Because of the small town mentality, I don’t forsee and equality happening here. But if there was, that mind-frame has to change. We need to offer opportunities to those that deserve based on qualifications. When promises are made, things need to be honored.