My Connections to Play

I love these quotes. How I felt about play as a kid may not necessarily agree with how I feel about play now, as an adult. As a kid, play was carefree. Just something you did to get out of life's responsibilities. In my house, if you did not play, you cleaned, did homework, or read a book. In many cases after my homework was done, I played. I chose the carefree enjoyment of playing. That also meant you did it outside. Because if you were in the house you, cleaned or read a book.

These items represent all that I needed as a kid. As a result of my childhood I became very athletic. Many of the sports I learned was not from an organized organization. It was from the streets. I played everything in the street; and in the middle of the street at that. We just moved to the side when a car came by. I first learned how to play, basketball, football, volleyball, soccer, and baseball in the middle of the street. Oh the fond memories I have of those time. A bicycle is what I lived on. We went everywhere on a bike. I can't exactly remember who taught me how to ride or even when I first learned  but between a bike, scooter, skates, and skateboard, I lived on those. I have great memories of just getting on one and riding somewhere like to school, after hours and on the weekend. Or even riding my bike down the big hill that led to my house or down a dike in the dessert. Man the good times. I have included a tree because I loved to just climb trees as a kid. I had a big tree in my yard growing up and loved to climb it. There are many times I could recall, my mom calling me home and I would be in that tree at the very top. I also remember being the tree at the top of course relaxing and just calming down after hearing some bad news. My greatest accomplishment and memory was in that tree. I was about 6 or 7 and climbed to the very top and was able to touch the power lines. Man I was so scared but so excited I did it when I did. I had tried all summer but the limbs were so thin and I was afraid; but one day I gathered enough courage to do it and did. Finally, my last childhood essential item was friends. On many Saturday mornings even before I woke up, I had friends ringing my doorbell to see if I could come out and play. It could also be the reason why I do not like doing anything now by myself, because I always had friends. I loved being around my friends. Things were always better when they were with friends.

I think as an adult my understanding of play has greatly changed from what it was when I was younger. As a child it was carefree and something I did. Too many rainy days I would go crazy. I did play inside, but when I was younger, you needed to go out and explore. I was a military brat so we just went all over the base. I went out with friends and explored. I didn't think I was learning anything from playing. Playing was fun and natural.
Today, I see play through adult eyes. As sadly as it may sound, I feel as though I justify play more. Kids don't justify things, they just do. Play is learning. As a kid your really not looking at play as a way to learn something but as a way to have fun, for pleasure, and enjoyment. As an adult you can relate to that because play is fun, a way to relax, but the justifiable answer is play teaches things. It develops characteristics for social, emotional, physical, cognitive and other foundational developmental skills. It is sad that we have to twist something so innocent and make it a reason to happen. Justify why is necessary or even why we do it.

I don't think play has changed from when I was younger. However, I may do it differently now. My interests may be different. But because I have kids, I get to awaken those same senses I used as a kid when I engage and play with my own children. I love teaching and engaging my kids in the same manner as I did when I was there age. The sparks of interest and facial features they give is pleasurable for me. Honestly it is everlasting memories they and we will have. Could even be traditions they do with their own kids too.

Play for me today, include some of the same things I liked as a kid. As much as I would love to, I don't have the same schedule as a kid so I kind of how to schedule playtime in. That is sad, but my reality as an adult. However, play happens all the time, in many forms. Play can be physical or imaginary. As I am typing this, my kids got all their electronics taken to include the tv, yet they are still playing. They are playing pretend and creating a scenario they got from television. They are using their imagination. It is fun to watch them play. It brings out memories and the kid in me.

Relationship Reflection

Relationships/partnerships are important to me because of the bonds created through them. Life is no fun to go through it alone. I love socializing the others. I find myself to be a people person. I am not going to lie, I do not enjoy doing many things by myself. I don’t even go to simple places like, Walmart by myself. Having relationships on any level means I have a bond with that person. We are connected. I enjoy people and the thoughts and differences they bring in me or to our relationship. If I happen to have a relationship where we share similarities, it too is just as important to me because of the bond we have.

Some of the people in my life currently who I share a positive bond is my husband, children, mother, sisters, God, my pastor, & coworkers, to just name a few off the long list I have.

Well to begin, the relationship I have with my husband has been in the making for over 20 years. It has been an adventure with ups and downs, but one, that works on open communication and trust. It wasn’t easy and by far, it is not over. Communication is key to maintaining what we have going. We have a friendship not just a romantic relationship. I genuinely want to be around him and love him unconditionally. I am so glad that we are in this thing called life together.

The relationship with my kids, is always changing. It grows based on where they and we are in our lives. I love them. They drive me crazy but am excited to see the people they will become. I am the mom and in charge, that is how we continue to develop and maintain our relationship. I don’t always get it or do it right, but I am still mom. I love you, Char’vet, A’niece, and Brie’ann.

The relationship I have with my mom has drastically changed over the years. She is still my mom and I love her. I don’t always agree with what she does and that is ok, but I love her and she knows that. She was not born in this country and so her thoughts and the things that she does are not exactly the way that I would do them; but we have an understanding. She is and will always be my mom. The relationship is in a way hard to explain. She is not my friend but we can talk about things. If I ever need her she will be there.

My sisters and I do not always agree with each other, but we love each other. We have each other’s back. We are family. They still drive me crazy at times like only they can but I will always be there for them; Elizabeth, and Kimberly.

I don’t know if I can explain my relationship with God to others. It is at the top of my list as relationships goes. He just understands me. I know he is always there and will never leave me nor forsake me. I fail him daily, but he NEVER fails me. I love God. There is no one like God to me in my life. The relationship I have with him is unique, one of a kind and very special to me.

My pastor is someone I am close with too. She is always there to answer my call and help guide me when I need her. She listens and prays with me/for me. She is a person with a big heart. She loves me and understands when I fail. She helps gives me directions for life, decisions, and just in other ways I need it. Thank you Pastor Dylisaly Johnson

My coworkers are important to my daily life. They help me with my job and the duties I need there. I can rely on them. They are fun to be around and talk to. I enjoy my job more with them around.

The people I call friends are important to me. I did not list them specifically, but I do have a few. Friends help me stay grounded and try to look out for me. In my world, we come across many people I have to say good-by to and nice to have met you, but there are times where the relationships I have created do stick and those people then become lifelong friends and perhaps even family.

Maintaining relationships in my world sometimes is hard, because we move so much. We pretty much just live in the moment and go with the flow. The friends I do have and friendships I make some, have kept in contact passed the time we were face to face but it definitely is hard.  Making yourself available to be there, being trustworthy and able to keep a secret is important to maintaining these relationships. I have learned that people will come into your life, some for a day, a season, and others for a lifetime. I have learned also to take nothing for granted because tomorrow is not promised to you. I have experienced that too many times in my short years here on earth. Appreciate everything!

Special characteristics I see that is needed in all my relationships is communication. We have to be able to tell each other things even when we don’t want to hear it. You can’t be afraid to say something. Don’t let me walk around with boogers in my nose and I won’t let you walk around with one in yours. Not to judge is very important. Just because it may not have been the way you would do things it is how I chose to get it done. A sense of humor is also important. We have to be able to have a good time and laugh at each other.

COMMUNICATON  is so important. Not communicating hurts all in the long run. Avoiding things and problems is not good. Open two-way communication is key. I feel that these have helped me in my career field.

 

When I think of Child Development

I would like to thank all my colleagues in EDUC 6160
Early Childhood Development @ Walden University
Especially, Cindy Durant and Anna Macias, you guys have stopped by my blog the most.
You guys made thoughtful comments. I really appreciate that. I thank you for your support. 

 
I
 

Testing for Intelligence?

I feel that measured a child through holistic development allows a child to fully develop all areas. Below are areas in which a child should be assessed. I feel like today we are trying to fit our children into a bubble and have them develop into ways that are not them. We do not allow kids to be kids anymore, with technology and things we are pushing them in the opposite direction from when we grew up. We now have standards and goals to meet for kids that. A child is not one part of any development but the whole child should be assessed.

Holistic development is a process of self-actualization and learning that combines an individual's mental, physical, social, emotional and spiritual growth. The term can be used to describe forms of alternative education that are based on the more humanistic and democratic outlooks.

 

Holistic development in children focuses on addressing all of the needs of a child's life: emotional, physical, relational, intellectual, creative and spiritual. This perspective to development encourages caregivers and teachers to look at the child as a whole and not focus on the individual parts.

Brought into popularity in the 1960s and 1970s, the holistic approach to child development has steadily become more common and led to the development of alternative approaches to education, such as the Montessori method. In this approach, traditional fact memorization and passive learning is eschewed for a more open and explorative method of learning and development.

To nurture the child as a whole, the holistic approach encourages learning through engagement of the environment. Each child is looked at as an individual and will find different learning opportunities through different paths. According to ECE Educate, at any given moment, the child’s emotions, physical needs and creative openness will contribute to his development and learning, furthering the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. A holistic caregiver will give children opportunities to engage in open-ended play while building warm relationships and recognizing the importance of the child’s spiritual and cultural development. Through this holistic approach, the caregiver can focus on the unique aspects of the child.

Methods for Implementing Holistic Approaches

While there is clearly no one method, Miller (2006) after review of a number of different holistic teaching methodologies, describes four key aspects of holistic approach based teaching:
1.       Learning is organic, emergent, experimental and based on cooperation.   Pre-planned teaching is facilitated only so far as to initiate open ended questioning and inquiry;
2.       There is a strong sense of community and engagement between children, parents and educators where those members feel strongly to care for one another
3.       There is a great respect for children’s interior life,  with methods ranging from environmental spaces that facilitate time out of competitive nosier environments, to time to ask deeper questions about the meaning of life and spirituality.
4.       There are strong connections to nature,  with the care and connection to the environment incorporated throughout the curriculum.
In another interesting article by Ron Miller he describes the aspirations of the holistic educator:

Holistic education aims to call forth from people an intrinsic reverence for life and a passionate love of learning. This is done, not through an academic "curriculum" that condenses the world into instructional packages, but through direct engagement with the environment. Holistic education nurtures a sense of wonder. Montessori, for example, spoke of "cosmic" education: Help the person feel part of the wholeness of the universe, and learning will naturally be enchanted and inviting. There is no one best way to accomplish this goal, there are many paths of learning and the holistic educator values them all; what is appropriate for some children and adults, in some situations, in some historical and social contexts, may not be best for others. The art of holistic education lies in its responsiveness to the diverse learning styles and needs of evolving human beings (Miller, n.d).

In the UK, some believe that if a child starts school to early then they could damage their learning for life. Children who start school around the age of 6 or 7 are believed to have developed theory-building and meaning-making capacities, giving them the confidence to explore their environment in a way that has real meaning and context for them.

Reference:
 https://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/teacher-blog/2013/dec/10/school-starting-age-five-six-uk-eu

http://www.raiselearning.com.au/blogs/news/5818384-exploring-holistic-approaches-for-early-childhood-educators

Stressors in Children's Development

As a child, I was born in the late 70’s where racism and discrimination were still very heavily pointed out. My mother is Korean and my dad was black. As a child, I was told that I did not fit a particular group in the right way. I was not Korean or Asian enough or black enough to be accepted by my peers. Funny thing is that growing up I was not really ever close to my mother. I wanted to be around my dad all the time. I was looked at and treated like daddy’s little girl. So, this meant I needed to prove to others that I did belong with the black kids. I saw and felt a stronger connection to them. I got into a lot of fights growing up proving myself constantly. After a while I grew up with an attitude and a mouth. Because my father was an educated man he instilled an importance of intelligence in me. He had a degree in History which also kind of carried over to me. As a kid, when I was with my older cousins; we were all told to pick out what we wanted to be when we grew up. I chose to be a lawyer since I was the age of 6 or 7. The Huxtables were on TV and I loved watch Cliff and Claire. They were a good positive influence on me. Since I didn't want to go to college for 8+ years to be a doctor and look at blood regularly, so I chose to be a lawyer. I figured if I was going to continue to be treated like a second-class citizen in life that I needed to be smart to fight the injustices I felt in my life because of the color of my skin. We all deserve to fit in and not be told we can’t be friends just because I don’t look exactly like you. Don’t get me wrong this type of thinking was not in everyone’s mind, but I faced a lot of it growing up. Even today, I get this same type of attitude, from people who just should know better but open their mouths without any kind information. Let me also point out that I have friends of all colors. I love and adore all my friends and all that cross my path.

Even when I started dating my husband, the first question out of my mother-in-law’s mouth was “is she white?” The reason being not because she is racist but because during her life, she faced many times where she was discriminated against because of the color of her skin and in recent years prior to dating my husband an incident involving the law and the fact that a family member was black occured. They are just cautious people. However, their thinking has since progressed, and in fact we have a few family members on that side who are dating outside their race. It is widely accepted now without any of the questioning I faced.

The one time in my life that I did not have to prove myself and was accepted is when I went away to college. I grew up in Florida and decided to attend college my freshman year at a HBCU in Charlotte, NC; Johnson C. Smith University, I had to get away from my mom because at this point my father had passed away and I had a lot on my shoulders and needed some relief. At college, not once did I have to argue or get into any kind of altercation to prove I belonged there. I made friends immediately. Not because they wanted something from me other than friendship. I had an overall time of peace in my life. I enjoyed this period of time in my life and it still holds great memories for me. It is that kind of feeling I want to pass on to my children because they look like mommy and will and have been discriminated against because of their skin color.

This type of stressor helped shaped my character. It gave me thicker skin. It showed me that I was more than what you saw on the outside but what I have on the inside. I do still have an attitude and a mouth at times, but with age I have learned how to control it. I still see and face this type of treatment and it bothers me because even in today’s age with the United States being a huge melting pot that it is, we still treat others like second class citizens.

 

I currently have a friend deployed in Afghanistan. Currently with the things going on people forget there are children there. With conditions the way they are, they face stressors that may be foreign to us.  A great number of families are impoverished and lack the necessities such as food and shelter (Catani, C., 2009, p. 163)” As a result children suffer from “war experiences, malnutrition, and ill health (Catani, C., 2009, p. 163).” There is also a great deal of family violence reported by children but could be related to the fact there is poverty, exposure to war, and child labor prevalent in Afghanistan.

 

 

 References:

Catani, C., Schauer, E., Elbert, T., Missmahl, I., Bette, J., & Neuner, F. (2009). War trauma, child labor, and family violence: life adversities and PTSD in a sample of school children in Kabul. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 22(3), 163-171. Doi: 10.1002/jts.20415

Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding in this country has made some headway lately. I know that it was a topic in the media in 2016. Mothers could not breastfeed where they wanted. They were treated like aliens and it was not liked if they did the act in public. However, in the private, public, and even in the Military world breastfeeding has changed. It is a victory. For me breastfeeding is important studies have shown that the babies that are breastfeed are less likely to get sick, awesome attachments are formed between mother and child, and the growth that takes place for a child that is breastfeed is right on. Now, just because it seems like I am very supportive of the breastfeed process, I do not want anyone to think that I am oppose to bottle feeding or choosing not to breastfeed. Everyone has a choice. I am in support of whatever you do and just want a healthy baby no matter how you choose to feed your child. I have had friends who made choices not to feed and I did not make them feel it was a bad choice, let’s be real no one wants to be told that the decisions they make for their child is bad and we should not make them feel that way. Like I was saying, I have had friends who did not breastfeed because they did not want to cause they thought it might hurt or could not because baby could not latch on, I mean there are several reasons for not choosing to breastfeed. But remember it is a choice.

Now, me personally, I chose to breastfeed all three of my daughters. My decision was to do it for about 6 months. After that, my decision it would be enough because at that point, they would be getting regular foods to support their diet, just like I did. For me, at that point too, research said that it wasn’t needed for nutrients or things it would be just for attachment purposes. Now I did the best with each child to meet my goal. We all know that all children are different, plus you have society and environmental issues that change. For my oldest 2 I was successful in breastfeeding them till we reached our 6 month mark. However I was at home with them for the 1^st year due to various reasons. I was not a stay at home mom but circumstances helped to support that and it made it easier to meet that goal. Now, with my 3^rd child, I worked before, during and still and going hard and strong in the work environment. I think that may have been small factor as to why we did not meet the 6-month goal. I was older so my milk supply was not as prosperous with her as it was her 2 siblings. But I did what I needed to with supplements and tricks it wasn’t too bad an issue. But when we hit month 4, and she began to get other sources of food, like jar and cereal; she wanted less and less of the breast milk and was fine with formula. For me, this was the crushing part. It hurt and devastated me when she didn’t want to nurse anymore. In some cases, I have seen that the nursing process is more for mom than it is for the child. So, we have to remember who the breastfeeding is for, us or the child. Yes, we want them to reap the benefits of breastfeeding but when it is time to let go, you must let go. Children are more resilient that we give them credit for. So, I pretty much stopped breastfeeding my youngest at around 4 mohths. Looking back I do contribute some of that to my crazy work schedule. Like, I said before, I did not work during the same time period with my other 2 but with her I worked all along and did the traditional 6 weeks off for maternity leave. I don’t know if that really is enough time. Looking at other countries, they get WAY more than us Americans. But as far as the attachment thing goes, she is the most clingy child of the bunch. She is always around me, even today and she is nearly 8. She is like that gnat that just seems to always chase you, not that I comparing my child to a gnat, but you get the point.

I love all my girls and totally back up my decision to breastfeed. I do encourage it because the benefits are amazing. I bounced back body wise each time and contribute that to breastfeeding. My kids rarely got sick or even now rarely get sick. Their healthy and happy. Now they have support groups for breastfeeding moms and I have seen the friendships established and that is great. I did not have that at any time during the time I was breastfeeding my children. Would have been nice to talk with other women or get help if I needed it in the area. But again, this movement has made progress.

Breastfeeding in other countries is just as important to our country as it is in other parts of the world. Norway, for example has the highest rate of breastfeeding with a 99% of new moms attempt it at the hospital. I think it is that way because breastfeeding in public is not as taboo there as it is in other places.

France on the other hand has a low rate of breastfeeding they feel as though it is an act of slavery. The French see boobs as more for the husbands and not the babies. Totally different mindset in France than the rest of the world.

Brazil has a very supportive breastfeeding culture. Interesting to me since they have a beauty minded culture. However, they have milk banks available there. It is in support to mom’s who can’t.

I also found information that says that in the predominantly Muslim cultures they support breastfeeding because it is seen as a part of their religious duty. It is referred to in the Qu’ran. They would have relatives or neighbors with babies sharing the nursing duties if need be.

Lastly, in Mongolia, breast milk is considered healthy and appetizing, not only for babies but for adults too. It is often given to the elderly for medical purposes.

All this information has been interesting. I does not change my thoughts on breastfeeding but in my line of work I will encourage the attachments and bonds that are created in support of. I will also try to encourage those that do decide to breast feed their infants to join a breastfeeding support group. I love the idea and have gone to one for support and to see what they do. It was interesting and gave me ideas that I will continue to push and support. We all need support or confirmation that the decisions we make for our kids is the right one.

 

Mecking, O. (2016, March 09). Breastfeeding Around the World. Retrieved January 20, 2017, from http://www.europeanmama.com/breastfeeding-around-the-world/

 

Is Breastfeeding the Same Around the World? (n.d.). Retrieved January 20, 2017, from https://www.bupaglobal.com/en/your-wellbeing/pregnancy-and-motherhood/breastfeeding-around-the-world

 

My Childbirth and Around the World

When my husband and I decided to have kids, I told him that I wanted to have all my kids by the time I was 30. I decided that we would have 3. Ironically, I was 31 when I gave birth to my youngest in Aviano, Italy. My husband was in the Air Force and we were living in Italy. I loved it. I was being seen on base which serviced American Military doctors. It was pretty routine compared to my other early childbirths if that in fact that can happen. Just because we were living in Italy, the whole situation was being treated like a regular American situation in comparison. Now if there were any complications I was told I would have to go off base, and did not want that to happen because their facilities were different from ours. This was just word of mouth from other mom's who had the pleasure of having their babies in an Italian hospital. Moving on to my birthing experience, my daughter was actually not like my other 2 births. She was not early like they were so I was quite mad about that. However, just like all the others, my husband was not around during the pregnancy part, he however, was able to be sent home for the delivery. She came on my due date which I was not really happy about in more ways than one. The first being that when I was told I was pregnant and her date was October 7, 2009, I was not happy. Because I like my mother in law just fine I did not want a baby on her birthday, however. Of course I called her and told her I was having the baby on her birthday but not to hold her breath because I had NO intentions of being pregnant that long. Little did I know this little girl had other plans.
 Fast forward to October 7, 2009. Finally, my husband was home and on this day I was particularly unhappy, because I was still pregnant and did all that I could to have this kid already. I walked a lot, did the due, I even had my membrane striped TWICE, and still not kid. However, it so happens that at 9:30am I had a doctors appointment. My husband and I went in the doctor checked my cervix an told me that I was about 4 centimeters dilated but now he helped me and now I was 5. This bit of news put me over the moon because I knew that meant I was going to have a baby. He asked me if I wanted to have this kid today. I told him HECK YEAH and that I would race him upstairs to labor and delivery. I did the moon walk out the room. My husband just laughed and followed. Did I mention that my oldest daughter was 10 at this time and did not go to school because I wanted her to witness childbirth, kind of a life lesson for future behavior. (It worked by the way, no kids from her, yet and she is almost 18). Going into this I already knew that I was going to have an epidural. When it came time to get it put in, I should have won an academy award for my performance, remember my daughter was in the room and I had her over my shoulder watching the whole thing. Her presence was was allowed. I know that there was a time when this was not allowed but on this particular day it was ok.  Many might think I am crazy for having her in the room, but I am a mom. I have been working with kids for several years at this time and knew how kids can be. Afterall, I was once one too, not that I had a teenage pregnancy or judge those who do but I know how things go.
Anyhow, on this day we had a beautiful healthy baby girl. Nothing major or of any concerns for me. Oh yeah, did I mention, that not only did I have my daughter and husband in the room I also had like 6 other staff members in the room. They wanted to witness a childbirth. I was over 30, not shy, over being pregnant and just did not care. It was in the name of medical science after all.
The interesting part came of giving birth to a baby in another country came a few days later. I had to go down to the town's city hall and fill out additional paperwork for giving birth. It has something to do with our SOFA status agreement with the Italian government. Anyhow, I had to fill out her name in this humongous (not kidding on the size) book. I also had to fill out a paper saying that she would never change her name. I then looked at her and told her, hope you like it, sorry if you don't but according to this your stuck kid.
Over all my birthing experience was fine. One we definitely tell stories about. Just recently, one of the extra people I had in the room, I ran into at another base hospital and we laughed and talked. She has a child of her own. I showed her pictures of how my daughter looks now. It was a pretty cool moment, not going to lie.


Since I shared my birthing experience in Italy, I want to share what I learned about giving birth in Italy. From my own experience and knowledge, women tend to be older when giving birth in Italy. We know that babies are at a higher risk for things when parents are older. However, in Italy it seemed like the norm for moms to be older. Although, when they do decide to have kids they tend to be back to back if more than one kid is planned. In Italy, the country is very family oriented and honestly cost of living is expensive so it is normal for the kids to live close to the parents. In many cases they live on the same property but in their own home. The facility that I am familiar with is in the Pordenone province of Italy. I heard the environment is very sterile and not very home like, like our facilities. The staff appeared not to be as friendly either. I wonder if that had something to do with the language barrier that they encountered. Doing some research on the internet. I see they use Doulas and midwives, similar to our American society. They utilize the baby room similar to how things were done in our older days. That kind of environment is quite normal. Today, in our country we have an area where the baby is taken for measurements and things but no primarily the baby is kept near the mother at all times for bonding. At least that is what I experienced, and have experienced since my last childbirth.